It's Diamond

2011-01-25T02:30:00.000-08:00

i moved~~
decided that the link location of this blog is too long..
and didn't reflect me one bit..
i created a new blog that totally me~~

here's the link
d-ros.blogspot.com.
sounds like me, isn't it??

미안해

2010-03-05T09:57:00.000-08:00

How do I tell you I'm sorry -
With a gesture, a look, a touch?
How is it I never realized
I hurt you so very much?

I do not ask forgiveness,
A comfort I'll never deserve.
I merely want to let you know,
But I cannot find the nerve.

To finally confront you, face-to-face,
To look you in the eye,
To face your wrath, your apathy -
Too terrified to try.

You called me selfish, I turned away,
I festered and I fled;
Cutting and wounding and lashing out,
Just to see if you bled.

Betraying and deceiving you,
I surely had no right
To snatch away such a precious gem;
A dark thief in the night.

Four years and forever passed
To bring us to this day,
When I present these simple words
I never thought to say.

The time has come, it's long past due,
To put aside my fear;
Would this confession torture you,
Or have you longed to hear?

To hear those two forbidden words,
To vanquish all the pain,
To understand my dearest wish:
To know you once again.

The years aged me remarkably,
Though they have not made me wise;
I do know I erred irrevocably -
For that I apologize.

-Apology by Tina K-

a brand new year, a brand new start, is what make things right, i assumed..

plenty of scars – both physical and emotional. still attached to myself and refused to leave me in solitude as much as i tried. foolishly i believed this existence is all but doomed. i have been trying to change all that happened. i have made plenty mistakes and i was trying to apologise for all that happened.

as the new year dawned, a new thinking arose within me, why should i change for others? why should i be what others want me to be? instead of seeking forgiveness from others, i decided to seek it within...

apologies for letting my dreams down, apologies for letting myself down in front of the world, apologies for not accepting what i am really and finally, apologies for all the subtle messages that was sent from within;

a brand new confidence sprang forth within me, a belief that i am the supreme being,
irrespective of what the world says, i am what i am and try as much, i cannot please everyone and i don't need to change for anyone...

The song has ended...

2009-12-28T13:03:00.000-08:00

2009

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. And I apparently don't know what will happen next.

Life… sometime it could be great for us, and harsh for the other. Sometime it's the total opposite. But hey, don't you ever heard a saying ‘Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.’ Everything you live through helps to make you the person you are now. It's surprising how much memory is built around things unnoticed at the time.

The song has ended, but the melody lingers on.

Minho gone crazy!!!

2009-12-21T05:26:00.000-08:00

Ha3. I'm laughing like idiot watching Star King. Never thought that Minho will be like that. That boy seriously in sugar high!! Not in center of his mind~he3~ Tyrah ngan Che 10, jgn marah~~ But seriously, he changed. Hang out with Eunhyuk too much. Must been influenced.

And…when I read about Hankyung signed papers to request for his contract with SM to be terminated, I can't help but keep thinking about it. Shocking news, isn’t it? Hmm…I guess Changmin, Jaejoong and Junsu aren’t the only SM’s artist that not satisfied with their company…So, is it mean that Super Junior will end up like DBSK too?? Hope not…

To avoid thinking too much about Hankyung, I read comics...ha3...I should read biology reference book instead of comics, right? he3..but, reading about mitosis and meiosis really driving me crazy!!!

Oh, I just remembered...I will be Form 5 in about 10 days...?.I think..?

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!! seriously should stop playing and start study!!!

japanese??

2009-12-17T16:23:00.000-08:00

ho3

sudden interest in Japanese~

do not know why but..

hmm...

it's another feeling that i can't explain...

because of comic maybe...??

i think..??

i can't figure out why i become like this~

like my heart being under somebody else's control..

feeling something without knowing the reason...

hmmm..

if i keep on like this,

i think i won't able to figure out why i feel hungry in future~

must find a way...

HYUKJAE + IU

2009-12-16T19:59:00.000-08:00

when i read about Hyukjae and IU,
i can't help myself but smiling unconsciously..

knowing that Hyukjae's in love..
i can't figure out why i feel very happy~
i don't know..
it's just so...it's like..
hmmmm...
i really don't know how to explain this~

while i writing this,
i smiling unconsciously...again..
i mean,
imagine it..
think like you are me~
and one of your fav artist is in love..
hmmm...
you know what?
i really can't explain it~
i just feel so happy..

happy to see Hyukjae like that,
blushing madly in front of IU...
if i'm a korean artist too,
an a guest in that show..
i would tease him until his face is crimson~
ha3

jealous of IU?
not at all..
well, i do jealous of her stunning voice,
and her guitar skill..
but that something we can't change..
but i'm not jealous of her because Hyukjae fall for her...

sincerely,
if given a chance to change my life with IU,
~~i don't really want to..~~
i really don't want to..
i would rather be Donghae..
be a close friend to him..
ha3
~~imagination cannot be stop!!~~

last of all,
i want to thank IU for 'this'
i don't really know what this actually~
but it make me feel very happy..

spectacle

2009-12-15T16:45:00.000-08:00

spending too much time for computer..
not really god for my eye~

i think i need to wear spectacle soon..
speaking of spectacle..

this pic cracks me up!!

2009-12-15T16:27:00.000-08:00

1st post after long hiatus~~

i present you..
dancing monkey!!

ha3

don't know what to write...
*writing nonsense*

ahh..
i should stop now~

semi-hiatus~~

2009-11-29T20:55:00.000-08:00

SEMI-HIATUS

if my life had a book

2009-11-22T16:09:00.000-08:00

Friendship..
Is there's any formula to solve probs involving friendship?

I do want to create friends,
it just that i afraid i would hurt them..
i'm not really good at mind-reading..
i'm not really good at making people laugh..
i'm not really good at listening..
i'm not really good at controlling my temper..
i'm not really good at praising..
and i really not good at faking smiles..

i afraid i won't understand them..
i afraid they got bored of me..

thinking of these..
i rather be a loner~~
the one who stuck with book 24/7..
the one who always keeping her head low..
the one who don't have any existence..

but i have created some..
some failed..
some..
just awesome!

the awesome one is really appreciated..
the happiness from it can't be expressed..
it's like a bliss~
if my life had a book,
i would write it in the biggest,
thickest writing…

i'm lovin' it

2009-11-22T14:15:00.000-08:00

I want diet..
but~

who am i under The Power of Raspberry Icecream

or a dark chocolate

or the worst of all,
both~~

snsd~~~

2009-10-09T18:51:00.000-07:00

근데 친구들은 말하죠

정말 너는 정말 못말려

바보!

"Even though all my friend's said,

"Can't you just stop?"

I'm still looking at him foolishly"

I just can't....

2009-09-25T08:47:00.000-07:00

It's not just a physical attraction,
I love him for every single thing he is.
Every word he says, every step he takes...
This is something that will never die.
I have tried to stay reasonable with this,
but I just can't anymore.
I just can't~~

otaku

2009-09-21T15:53:00.000-07:00

it's been a while~~
I haven't buy comic since....
well...
it's has been a while.

Ramadhan and Syawal

2009-09-19T00:27:00.000-07:00

I've been expecting everybody to post Hari Raya wish or something like that~~
and, this mine~~

Ramadan, a month long fasting period before the celebrations. Ramadan, a period of abstinence observed by Muslim across many nations. Ramadan, the month that I'll hear "lapar!!!" from every corner and followed by a "sabarla~~". For Muslims, it is a time to reflect on ones actions and deeds throughout the year. It is a time to ask for forgiveness as the festive season draws near.

The sighting of the moon to determine when Hari Raya Puasa starts. The sighting of the moon, observed with sincere feelings from the heart. The sighting of the moon filled with excitement and joy. The sheer delight on every Muslim girl and boy. How couldn't they? It's their time to collect duit raya~

The colorful buntings and lights. Muslim ladies dressed to the nines in their traditional costume; the baju kurung, baju melayu and somehow there's stylish tudung arini(?). What a picture to see as they welcome Hari Raya~~The delicious meals prepared by Muslims for all races. The graciousness shown on the hosts faces while saying something sounded like “Salamat Hari Rayo~~", "make make...tamboh lagi~","maah banyok laa..kito banyok wat saloh ko demo.","comenyo baju~~"and my favourite "sapo nok duit rayo??!!"

happy~~~^_^

2009-09-18T03:34:00.000-07:00

T_T *touched*
knowing that my blog was viewed,
I can't help but feel..what the next word after happy??
guys,
thanks for viewing...
love you'll~~
*muax*

sista

2009-09-18T03:27:00.000-07:00

~sista~
~hermana~
~adikku~
~pic taken in the car~

there's something i want to tell bout her..she afraid of me!! the only person who can win over my mum when fighting for the TV afraid of me! the distance between us become more further away. like hannan said "panggil tok dengar". hu3 T_T ..currently,I've become scarier and scarier..

doo doo doo~~loving u baby

2009-09-10T06:46:00.000-07:00

너무 반짝반짝 눈이 부셔
no no no no no
너무 깜짝깜짝 놀란 나는
oh oh oh oh oh
너무 짜릿짜릿 몸이 떨려
gee gee gee gee gee
젖은 눈빛 oh yeah
좋은 향기 oh yeah yeah yeah

too bored

2009-09-03T21:48:00.000-07:00

i'm bored to death..
can that be even true??
well, I am still alive~
i need something to do----
i gotta find some interest..
but I don't know what~~
i can't think of anything..
my mind's door is shut.....

happy birthday!!!!!

2009-08-29T00:49:00.000-07:00

It’s your birthday...
and I’m thinking how glad I am
that you were born...
You have given me so much--
supported me, encouraged me,
cared for me.. I didn't even need to ask.
I celebrate your wonderful self!
I am in awe of your boundless generosity,
your infinite kindness--that gentle inner glow
that you so freely use to warm my life.
Your birthday is as much a celebration for me
as it is for you, maybe more,
and I wish for you the best of birthdays,
the best one ever.
May each birthday be better than the last.
Most of all, I hope you will always be
As happy as you have made me...
Saranghae~~

hey~~~

2009-08-26T00:19:00.000-07:00

in the name of love,
I WON'T FORGIVE YOU!!

milk..strawberry..cup..spoon

2009-08-26T00:04:00.000-07:00

i'm posting this??
in the middle of fasting??

now i knew why i hate myself~~

HAPPY TOGETHER

2009-08-23T01:35:00.000-07:00

a little bit closer, love..
i’ll always protect you
so we’re like how we are now
when you’re feeling exhausted
and hurt and pained..
all you have to do is...
lean on me always,
HAPPY TOGETHER

August 22nd, 2009

2009-08-21T16:34:00.000-07:00

I’m started missing my buddy~~
you guys were on my mind when i woke up this morning
remembering your smiles,,,,
i guess the next time i'll see your face
will take a little while~
i was remembering our times
the good and the bad
the funny times when you cheered me up
[^_^]
and especially the sad
[T_T]
remembering your eyes
[a_a]
how they always meet mine
remembering all the little things you do~
to make my life worthwhile,,
i guess i'm missing you more than i usually do~~
and guess what??
it only been 2 days~~
you guys really a burden to me..

i wish i'm heechul~

2009-08-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

heechul writes his cyworld using malay!!
is he crazy??

~~completely crazy...

my love towards kim hee chul getting stronger and stronger~~
in return,
i'll use hangeul in my blog and fs's shout out..
ha3
didn't i already did that??

sometime..
i wish i'm heechul~
to be with hankyung all the time!!!
~life couldn't get better~

~~super junior~~
such a precious name
write it all over my notebook...

T_T

2009-08-10T09:15:00.000-07:00

without any emotions,
the tears just flow TT_TT
when will they stop??!

it’s not painful..
and I wasn’t even weak..
i’m just grieved at heart~~

karma rules

2009-08-10T09:13:00.000-07:00

Good stuff and bad stuff

Happy stuff and sad stuff

Laughter and tears

Happiness and unhappiness

Love and parting

Things that coexist

We are living amidst those

~이아라~

meditating on unconsciousness

2009-07-30T17:27:00.000-07:00

sleep...
oh! how i love those little slices of death...
i'm practically sleep in every lesson~~
sleep is the golden chain that ties health and our bodies together..
so why can't i sleep??

o bed! o bed! delicious bed!
that heaven upon earth to the weary head...
oh sleep! it is a gentle thing,
beloved from pole to pole...
ho3

"o sleep, o gentle sleep,
Nature's soft nurse, how have I frighted thee,
That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down
And steep my sense in forgetfulness?"
~William Shakespeare, Henry IV, Part I~

but, no matter what i've said,
in class, i'm wasn't really asleep,
i was just meditating on unconsciousness..

do you want love

2009-07-30T16:24:00.000-07:00

somehow those treacherous tears just start rolling down my face without any command,
overflowing, overpouring, cementing this moment forever into my mind.

i never knew it,
but i have fallen too deep into this trap,
and i can't pull myself out anymore.
it has gone too far before i could have noticed,
it has gone too far one step before i could check myself...

when i start crying once i hear a song,
it is normally because i put my feelings too deeply into the lyrics,
and start realising the meaning behind the song itself.
or perhaps when my emotions were already too mangled to start with,
providing the basis for such inexplicable tears.
but this time round, i don't know anymore.
it has really gone too far,
and i start crying without even understanding the reason.

only here i can put down that strong facade i have placed in front of everybody else.
only here my name remains anonymous.
only here I can really express my true self,
without being afraid that I will be exposed and heavily slammed.
forgive me.
sometimes society is too cruel and ruthless for me to express myself freely.

do you want love?
and I want love.
memories are beautiful.

my tears have given mean inspiration.
something that i rather not have, at this very moment.

SSII

2009-07-24T16:41:00.000-07:00

spotted hankyung??
ha3
actually i spotted the person at the corner first..

raining

2009-07-24T16:24:00.000-07:00

it's raining..
it's always raining..
the sun is not appearing..
the clouds keep pouring..
the grass dampened..
soon, there will be rainbow..
why i'm writing this?
SEJUKLAAA!!!

Them, the people I trust

2009-07-24T15:57:00.000-07:00

This is the first time I become so dependent,
This is the first time I actually didn't keep my secret to myself,
This is the first time I tend to tell everything,
This is the first time I feel so secured,
This is the first time my ego didn't control me,
This is the first time I trust someone so much,
Thanks to them...
The so-called 채 태인
and my follower, 파라

Promise

2009-07-23T14:28:00.000-07:00

I'll promise you this...

I won't be fickle
I'll become the best
I won't become shy
I won't become sick
I will work hard
I will always be laughing
I will always be happy
So please promise me this...
.
.
.
To never leave...
Just this one....

spacing out

2009-07-10T14:04:00.000-07:00

at every moment i realize i should be in reality...

i'm spacing out~~
really out....
sorry cikgu...

tell me

2009-07-10T05:41:00.000-07:00

tell me I'm clever,
tell me I'm kind,
tell me I'm talented,
tell me I'm cute,
tell me I'm sensitive,
graceful and wise,
tell me I'm perfect--
but please,
tell me the truth.

smile

2009-07-09T22:14:00.000-07:00

I haven’t lost my smile at all, it’s right under my nose. I just forget it was there.

better

2009-06-25T22:07:00.000-07:00

to become a better person

untuk menjadi orang yang lebih baik

لتصبح أفضل شخص

좀 더 나은 사람이되고

要成为一名更好的人

Pour devenir une personne meilleure

एक बेहतर इंसान बनने के लिए

Per diventare una persona migliore

より良い人間になるために

some1

2009-06-25T09:28:00.000-07:00

it's doesn't feel right
i used to have someone..
someone i can cling to..
someone i can express myself to her..
what i feel, what i think..
someone i can cuddle to..
someone who i can tell everything to her....

for the fact that, alas, the someone is nowhere in sight,
it make me feel empty...
the part of my heart that once filled..
now left as an empty hole...

nonetheless,
i am completely sure that the someone is near by me..
all i have to do is find her~~~

hey, someone...
show yourself, would you??

musi

2009-06-12T07:16:00.000-07:00

a soft sweet, sound from deep within my souls, expressed in a most different way. an indescribable sound descending from my hearts, seems it has something to say. an unpredictable sound conveying love and peace, revealed from deep inside, a wave of emotion expressed through song...so free it seems it has nothing to hide. an unwinding of feelings, felt deep in the heart, ways present in every way...a sound that is sacred and precious, that can never be taken away.

big love

2009-06-02T09:46:00.000-07:00

quickly keeping up with the globalization era...

You are inside my heart…
Please leave if you’re heavier than 100kg…
My chest is feeling uneasy….
I can't breath...

dedicated to a friend

2009-06-02T06:02:00.000-07:00

yaaah!!!i'm sorry!!!
i'm sorry for the fact that i didn't take notice when you're hurt..
i know that i'm not really good expressing myself..
and you should know it too!!
i won't able to say "i'm sorry" or "thanks" face to face..
i don't know why,
it just won't come out...
i'm very conscious that i'm not wise at all..
maybe because..
because i'm shy??!!!??!
ho3
i don't know.....

hey

2009-05-22T17:51:00.000-07:00

quickly keeping up with the globalization era...

I’m not used with the days…
Although I’m laughing,I’m not actually laughing inside

enjoying my life

2009-05-22T14:34:00.000-07:00

i keep on listening to korean songs
i'm so into them
expecially Reset by SJ
although i don't understand a thing
even their english

trapped

2009-05-21T15:00:00.000-07:00

Sixteen years old. Pretty old for a fish in a bowl. Sometimes I press my face up to the protective glass and look out Light bends, distorts before reaching my eyes I can hear echoes of sound. Muffled sounds. Sixteen years I have lived in this bowl. Every once and a while a new fish is introduced. A castle and treasure chest appear. Temporarily I am distracted, But not for long. Home, kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, high school. Always the same transparent boundary. Preventing. Diffracting. Sometimes I dream of what's outside. Can I believe what I see and hear from here? Sixteen years I have lived in this bowl. One more years I am confined. One more years before I am released. My mind swirls with excitement and uncertainty. What will come of me? How does a fish leap from its bowl and into the ocean?

till forever

2009-05-09T22:05:00.000-07:00

gaining more and more fats
dusss...
this excessive fats give no sign to leave me
~i need diet~

stress!!!

2009-05-07T03:15:00.000-07:00

exam just around the corner!!!
got really stress right now
i got to study biology and physics
>>>on my way to mental breakdown...

that girl

2009-05-01T18:02:00.000-07:00

i'm that girl that holds a smile on her face

even when things are a mess and her faith falls out of place

who believes in taking chances for what I want

instead of pretending to be happy as someone I'm not

I'm that girl who's not afraid to let her emotions show

and learns to go on as her feelings start to grow

who would never give up on the love of her life

because there are two paths she can make the wrong or the right

I'm that girl who would travel a million miles away

just to find the love that shes been waiting for everyday

I'm that girl who doesn't care about what other people think of my style

the one that savors every moment even if its only for a little while

I'm that girl that people call weird, random, and dramatic

but there's more to me if you'll listen behind all the noise and static

I'm that girl you can call unperfect

my hairs always a mess

I'm under a lot of pressure and all the stress

I'm really not so different as the rest

if it were up to me I'll say I come in second best

I'm that girl who loves to laugh,

the one that can joke around till things get out of control

I'm that girl that loves to dream

but this reality is not what it seems

a fairytale ending waiting to come true

another risk worth taking what does she have to lose?

I'm that girl who can never prove what she can really do

because she gives up to easily but none really knew

instead shes judged by others that are strangers to her eyes

bottled up with any goodbyes and silent cries for help

but none there so she has to rely on herself

I'm that girl

and that is my world...

happy bday~~

2009-05-01T01:11:00.001-07:00

because of there's no hankyung version of this,
so, i just post eunhyuk version as he looks so cool...

i just remembered that his birthday is 0404
so...

생일축하합니다
생일축하합니다
사랑하는 혁재형
생일축하합니다

생일축하합니다 ..행복하세요?. 건강하세요.

사랑해

study!!!!!!!!

2009-05-01T01:11:00.000-07:00

Yah!!!

I’m deadly tired of being a student!!

The exam is waving happily to me like I was ready!!

Don’t mention about the stress I got from my ~~annoying~~ troublesome sister

My body isn’t in good state

I had a running nose and keep sneezing

I guess it flu

Argh!!!!

Thinking that I haven’t study for this exam

Make me want to cry out…T_T

I wanted to close my eyes,

And escape all the things in front of me.

It makes feel like don’t want to study,

But I need to study and I got to study.

I should start study now

Yet, I still tied with this not-so-up-to-date computer!!!

God!! Get me out of here!!!

감사합니다

2009-04-30T22:57:00.000-07:00

here's one of the angels told earlier
she such a wonderful friend~~~
감사합니다

i want to do something more special
but since it's not her birthday..
or any of her special date..
so i just post a poem..
which i really dedicated it to her...

Our friendship is as close as closest sisters,
Two flutes with a single melody,
Interchanging runs through changing vistas,
Notes like birds alighting on a tree.
To some, friends are like books upon a shelf;

Yet you to me are like another self.
This music will not stop for other misters,
Nor will it pause for princes, real or elf.
However life may wend, we will be we.

hey, always be there for me, okay??

i'm a lil bit awkward when appears without you...

my hyungs

2009-04-29T06:37:00.000-07:00

i have indeed very cute hyungs..
but unfortunately, they didn't share it with me
T-T

try to guess who's who
i'm the one who take the picture..
ho3

i'm still in my 4D world
ho3

angel

2009-04-29T06:36:00.002-07:00

I want to upload picture but the internet turns out soooo slow..
I want to write about SJ, TVXQ, Shinee,Big Bang etc
But I afraid the scroller will be sooo tiny
Since SJ have 13 members
Plus 5 from TVXQ and same with Shinee and Big Bang
Anyway…
here's their hangul name

강인~희철~한경~혁재~동해~기범

예성~신동~성민~시원~규현~이특~려욱

윤호~준수~유천~창민~재중

종현~태민~온유~민호~키

승리~태양~T.O.P~G-Dragon~대성

...........

사랑해

it almost midnight...

2009-04-29T06:36:00.001-07:00

This is originally written on 27th April 2009..

Lately, I keep thinking more and more about friendship. I mean my friendship with others. Well, I’m not really someone who has a large number of friends but I keep on thinking what others think about me. Do they found me annoying? ungrateful? someone fun to be around? If only I given a power to read other’s mind….

I’m always thinking that I’m being hated and talked at the back, etc. My eyes will start to tear every time I think about it…