미안해

How do I tell you I'm sorry -
With a gesture, a look, a touch?
How is it I never realized
I hurt you so very much?

I do not ask forgiveness,
A comfort I'll never deserve.
I merely want to let you know,
But I cannot find the nerve.

To finally confront you, face-to-face,
To look you in the eye,
To face your wrath, your apathy -
Too terrified to try.

You called me selfish, I turned away,
I festered and I fled;
Cutting and wounding and lashing out,
Just to see if you bled.

Betraying and deceiving you,
I surely had no right
To snatch away such a precious gem;
A dark thief in the night.

Four years and forever passed
To bring us to this day,
When I present these simple words
I never thought to say.

The time has come, it's long past due,
To put aside my fear;
Would this confession torture you,
Or have you longed to hear?

To hear those two forbidden words,
To vanquish all the pain,
To understand my dearest wish:
To know you once again.

The years aged me remarkably,
Though they have not made me wise;
I do know I erred irrevocably -
For that I apologize.

-Apology by Tina K-

 a brand new year, a brand new start, is what make things right, i assumed..

plenty of scars – both physical and emotional. still attached to myself and refused to leave me in solitude as much as i tried. foolishly i believed this existence is all but doomed. i have been trying to change all that happened. i have made plenty mistakes and i was trying to apologise for all that happened.

 as the new year dawned, a new thinking arose within me, why should i change for others? why should i be what others want me to be? instead of seeking forgiveness from others, i decided to seek it within... 

apologies for letting my dreams down, apologies for letting myself down in front of the world, apologies for not accepting what i am really and finally, apologies for all the subtle messages that was sent from within;

a brand new confidence sprang forth within me, a belief that i am the supreme being,
  irrespective of what the world says, i am what i am and try as much, i cannot please everyone and i don't need to change for anyone...